APPRECIATING KID TRANSITIONS AND MAKING FUN MEMORIES TOGETHER, WHEN YOUR KIDS HAVE A BIG AGE GAP
I wonder, how many of us actually watch our kids grow? To see their transitions and enjoy their journey with them. Personally, I did not take that time with my eldest. I was younger and on the hustle, in efforts to make a great life for him. With 2 and 3 jobs and a household to run, I was there for him but the presentness of mind to actually see his transitions and appreciate them wasn't there. Luckily for me, I did get a second chance, 11 years later, when I had my daughter. In that moment, I swore to be present and not miss her journey. But little did I know I was getting a two for one deal.
I don't know about anyone else, but it seems like my kids go to sleep at one stage and wake up completely transitioned into another. It is so crazy saying good morning to someone new, during these transition points. So, with my awareness in check my son fell into my radar.
I saw my sweet boy making his awkward transition into his teen years, navigating high school and discovering who he is personally. No more welcomed Mommy hugs in public (I do sneak them in just to bother him..😁). As for my now 2 year old, she is already so independent. It seems she went to sleep just interested in coloring the kitchen table in her favorite hue of spaghetti sauce and woke up counting objects and going to the potty all on her own. She however, still likes my hugs (and boy do I love giving them😍). These are some proud moments for all of us, moments that remind us the importance of quality time, great memories and to get all the snuggles you can handle. It's also time to recite the parental slogan, “where did the time go?” But for me, I also have to deal with such a big gap in ages with one in the 'terrible 2’ stage and the other in the 'tumultuous teen’ stage, I found myself struggling to find a way to make fun memories collectively…. Until Halloween.
As with every year I am super excited about Halloween. My son loves choosing the ultimate costume and we both love going trick or treating, but it is also actually my birth month. This year, I anticipated it would be super fun. Because, my daughter was old enough to fully understand the concept and no stroller necessary. It was the perfect opportunity to have a great time with BOTH kids. Costumes were picked and plans set we were going to a pre Halloween mall party the weekend before, then trick or treating on Halloween. Sounds air tight right? Read on, I can’t make this up if I tried.
The day of the pre Halloween party, my son literally woke up anti Halloween and full of teen misery. To say the least, I was completely baffled. He went to bed talking about the mall how cool his costume will look and how much trick or treating he would do on Halloween. This year he had like 3 different Halloween costumes (there was a duality in use for one idea). He went as Joker for his high school party, Riddler the day of Halloween at school and for the mall and Halloween, he wanted to be his personal character the blue skull. So here we were, my daughter super excited in her Minnie costume, and my son completely in a mood shift. I swear teens are super cranky. However, I eventually got him up and we went to mall. Anyone with teens know, that by this time he was dragging his feet, with the totally blank, unamused look painted on his face. And we who can relate, know that this is the ultimate ignore and breathe moment. After all, my daughter was present too and she was having a blast. From the stilt walking witch to decorating her own pumpkin and doing the Monster Mash. Her joy was priceless. Then something happened, my son spoke and spoke like my son. His face was relaxed as he watched his sister do the Monster Mash. There was still hope. From that moment it was all smiles laughter and suggestions. We ate lunch at the mall, strolled around a little more, participated in a costume contest (we didn’t win) and then, at a whim, I said “Let’s go Chuck E Cheese!”. I had no idea that this Chuck E Cheese was loaded with classic and interactive games, and mini rides. It was awesome. I bought a pass and let them be. I watched as my kids played together, my son taught my daughter how to play and showed her how to navigate the gaming floor. It was like we were in Never-land and they never wanted to grow up. I was in happily in 'Forever Mommydom’. Seriously though, it was such a joy to see them interact with each other and other kids.
That evening we went home and they both kept saying how much fun they had. My daughter, went to bed remembering it all and told me I was a fun mommy and thank you with the best hug. My son, went to bed saying it was the best day ever. I just smiled and enjoyed every single expression of joy and thanks. Halloween followed and was 4 hours of pure untouched trick or treating goodness. Ensuring we have candy until the new year.
With all said and done, I look back on that memory and realize that no matter how old they get, or the transitions they go through, we will all still enjoy moments with each other, moments that my kids will crave. No matter what transition stage they wake up in, in the morning.
I don't know about anyone else, but it seems like my kids go to sleep at one stage and wake up completely transitioned into another. It is so crazy saying good morning to someone new, during these transition points. So, with my awareness in check my son fell into my radar.
I saw my sweet boy making his awkward transition into his teen years, navigating high school and discovering who he is personally. No more welcomed Mommy hugs in public (I do sneak them in just to bother him..😁). As for my now 2 year old, she is already so independent. It seems she went to sleep just interested in coloring the kitchen table in her favorite hue of spaghetti sauce and woke up counting objects and going to the potty all on her own. She however, still likes my hugs (and boy do I love giving them😍). These are some proud moments for all of us, moments that remind us the importance of quality time, great memories and to get all the snuggles you can handle. It's also time to recite the parental slogan, “where did the time go?” But for me, I also have to deal with such a big gap in ages with one in the 'terrible 2’ stage and the other in the 'tumultuous teen’ stage, I found myself struggling to find a way to make fun memories collectively…. Until Halloween.
As with every year I am super excited about Halloween. My son loves choosing the ultimate costume and we both love going trick or treating, but it is also actually my birth month. This year, I anticipated it would be super fun. Because, my daughter was old enough to fully understand the concept and no stroller necessary. It was the perfect opportunity to have a great time with BOTH kids. Costumes were picked and plans set we were going to a pre Halloween mall party the weekend before, then trick or treating on Halloween. Sounds air tight right? Read on, I can’t make this up if I tried.
The day of the pre Halloween party, my son literally woke up anti Halloween and full of teen misery. To say the least, I was completely baffled. He went to bed talking about the mall how cool his costume will look and how much trick or treating he would do on Halloween. This year he had like 3 different Halloween costumes (there was a duality in use for one idea). He went as Joker for his high school party, Riddler the day of Halloween at school and for the mall and Halloween, he wanted to be his personal character the blue skull. So here we were, my daughter super excited in her Minnie costume, and my son completely in a mood shift. I swear teens are super cranky. However, I eventually got him up and we went to mall. Anyone with teens know, that by this time he was dragging his feet, with the totally blank, unamused look painted on his face. And we who can relate, know that this is the ultimate ignore and breathe moment. After all, my daughter was present too and she was having a blast. From the stilt walking witch to decorating her own pumpkin and doing the Monster Mash. Her joy was priceless. Then something happened, my son spoke and spoke like my son. His face was relaxed as he watched his sister do the Monster Mash. There was still hope. From that moment it was all smiles laughter and suggestions. We ate lunch at the mall, strolled around a little more, participated in a costume contest (we didn’t win) and then, at a whim, I said “Let’s go Chuck E Cheese!”. I had no idea that this Chuck E Cheese was loaded with classic and interactive games, and mini rides. It was awesome. I bought a pass and let them be. I watched as my kids played together, my son taught my daughter how to play and showed her how to navigate the gaming floor. It was like we were in Never-land and they never wanted to grow up. I was in happily in 'Forever Mommydom’. Seriously though, it was such a joy to see them interact with each other and other kids.
That evening we went home and they both kept saying how much fun they had. My daughter, went to bed remembering it all and told me I was a fun mommy and thank you with the best hug. My son, went to bed saying it was the best day ever. I just smiled and enjoyed every single expression of joy and thanks. Halloween followed and was 4 hours of pure untouched trick or treating goodness. Ensuring we have candy until the new year.
With all said and done, I look back on that memory and realize that no matter how old they get, or the transitions they go through, we will all still enjoy moments with each other, moments that my kids will crave. No matter what transition stage they wake up in, in the morning.
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