IN A BLINK YOUR LIFE CAN CHANGE PT. 2
Following the news of the abnormal MRI result and hearing the term Autoimmune Disease, as a possibility, I did what any rational person would do, I went to Google.
Let me be the first to say that sometimes when you hear certain terms and get results from a doctor that might be a little scary, going to Google can make you loose sleep, this was not one of those times. With copies of results and focused memory, Google was very very helpful. Especially in terms of how to prepare for what was to come next....The Neurologist.
THE NEUROLOGIST
As I walked into the Neurologist office, my stomach felt like it was doing summer salts and my heart seemed to be racing. Thankfully, when the specialist walked in he had the most calming demeanor and energy about him that screamed positivity. He went over the result with me and immediately ruled out Multiple Sclerosis (M.S), judging from the white matter lesions on my MRI Images. Can I tell you I breathed for the first time, just in that moment. He smiled as he saw my face relaxed just a bit. He then explained to me that the appearance of these white cell pockets of activity could be related to many things. From Migraines to Lupus to White Matter Disease, but nothing can be definitive until more test are run. Yes the dreaded 'more test'. I listened, I took notes and believe it or not I smiled (as I said he had an awesome demeanor). He not only instructed me as to which tests were necessary but he took the time to explain why.
Feeling a little more hopeful, I thanked the specialist and began my preparations to have the blood work requested and a new MRI with contrast done.
THE RESULTS - AGAIN
I made the testing a priority and got the blood work done within weeks (The MRI with contrast, needed to be done 6 months after the last one). During all this time I took moments out of my day to not only sit still with myself but to just look at my kids. I think a part of me thought I could make moments last forever if I just paused. And it sure did feel that way.
My blood work was done and the results were in, all test were normal, except my ESR. (I know right why can I just bowl a strike when it comes to testing😔). So yes, I had to go into the office again. The doctor came in with the same disposition as my first visit. As he disclosed the result, his eyes popped open at the number for my ESR, (que the nerves). As he explained elevated ESR result can be Autoimmune Disease related. Which Autoimmune Disease....you guessed it 'more test' would have to be run to be definitive. Feeling a little unsure I listened with an open mind and he reassured at every step. He also suggested I take the test again in a couple weeks to note if any positive occurred. So I did.
Fully tested and back in the office, I was completely comfortable. Even more so when the doctor came in to explain the results. My ESR numbers fell and my recent MRI showed no change. I know what you may think, 'No Change' how is that a good thing if you still have the same pockets of activity. Well as I saw it, I didn't have anymore pockets therefore it was not getting progressively worst, and my ESR result went down by me simply changing my diet. WIN WIN!!
NOT OUT OF THE WOODS
Although everything seemed to be flowing in the right direction, there was still some testing that needed to be done and I had to pay close attention to my body and note any ques that something wasn't right. All of which has now become my day to day.
REALISATIONS
After all this happened I had to literally take stalk of how I view myself and the value of taking care of myself and my health. As a mom and parent, many of you can relate to the fact that we seldom if ever, be as meticulous with our health, as we are with our childrens'. This becomes habit, as we somehow believe that 'nothing could possibly be wrong with us' or that 'we are fine, we just have to be..right?' These mantras played on repeat in my mind for years, that's how I casually dismissed all the signs that something could be wrong. Every instinct that said 'no you are not OK', was pushed to the side. Just remembering the looks on their faces of uncertainty and fear as I lay in that hospital bed, unable to give the answer that makes everything better, hurts me to my core. And forget about entertaining the ideas of the 'negative' what if's...😟. I am just saying I thank my Divine everyday and every second that I can steal a hug or a kiss I do. I love them til they are sick of it ( I am a spontaneous huger😀). But mostly, I have learned to invest in me, there by investing in them, leaving a legacy and foundation on which they can stand and know that "Mommy built this and thought of this for us".
I share this as a warning to many of you that share my same mantras, in hopes that you take a minute, to think about the last time you went to the doctor just for a check up or had your body feeling strange and just chalked it up to exhaustion or stress. Take a day off and go to the doctor and yes I said a day off. In hind sight, one day to focus on my health and make my doctor visit a priority would have saved me months of limbo and only costed me one days pay. The main take away though is LISTEN TO YOUR BODY, it has a lot to say.
Let me be the first to say that sometimes when you hear certain terms and get results from a doctor that might be a little scary, going to Google can make you loose sleep, this was not one of those times. With copies of results and focused memory, Google was very very helpful. Especially in terms of how to prepare for what was to come next....The Neurologist.
THE NEUROLOGIST
As I walked into the Neurologist office, my stomach felt like it was doing summer salts and my heart seemed to be racing. Thankfully, when the specialist walked in he had the most calming demeanor and energy about him that screamed positivity. He went over the result with me and immediately ruled out Multiple Sclerosis (M.S), judging from the white matter lesions on my MRI Images. Can I tell you I breathed for the first time, just in that moment. He smiled as he saw my face relaxed just a bit. He then explained to me that the appearance of these white cell pockets of activity could be related to many things. From Migraines to Lupus to White Matter Disease, but nothing can be definitive until more test are run. Yes the dreaded 'more test'. I listened, I took notes and believe it or not I smiled (as I said he had an awesome demeanor). He not only instructed me as to which tests were necessary but he took the time to explain why.
Feeling a little more hopeful, I thanked the specialist and began my preparations to have the blood work requested and a new MRI with contrast done.
THE RESULTS - AGAIN
I made the testing a priority and got the blood work done within weeks (The MRI with contrast, needed to be done 6 months after the last one). During all this time I took moments out of my day to not only sit still with myself but to just look at my kids. I think a part of me thought I could make moments last forever if I just paused. And it sure did feel that way.
My blood work was done and the results were in, all test were normal, except my ESR. (I know right why can I just bowl a strike when it comes to testing😔). So yes, I had to go into the office again. The doctor came in with the same disposition as my first visit. As he disclosed the result, his eyes popped open at the number for my ESR, (que the nerves). As he explained elevated ESR result can be Autoimmune Disease related. Which Autoimmune Disease....you guessed it 'more test' would have to be run to be definitive. Feeling a little unsure I listened with an open mind and he reassured at every step. He also suggested I take the test again in a couple weeks to note if any positive occurred. So I did.
Fully tested and back in the office, I was completely comfortable. Even more so when the doctor came in to explain the results. My ESR numbers fell and my recent MRI showed no change. I know what you may think, 'No Change' how is that a good thing if you still have the same pockets of activity. Well as I saw it, I didn't have anymore pockets therefore it was not getting progressively worst, and my ESR result went down by me simply changing my diet. WIN WIN!!
NOT OUT OF THE WOODS
Although everything seemed to be flowing in the right direction, there was still some testing that needed to be done and I had to pay close attention to my body and note any ques that something wasn't right. All of which has now become my day to day.
REALISATIONS
After all this happened I had to literally take stalk of how I view myself and the value of taking care of myself and my health. As a mom and parent, many of you can relate to the fact that we seldom if ever, be as meticulous with our health, as we are with our childrens'. This becomes habit, as we somehow believe that 'nothing could possibly be wrong with us' or that 'we are fine, we just have to be..right?' These mantras played on repeat in my mind for years, that's how I casually dismissed all the signs that something could be wrong. Every instinct that said 'no you are not OK', was pushed to the side. Just remembering the looks on their faces of uncertainty and fear as I lay in that hospital bed, unable to give the answer that makes everything better, hurts me to my core. And forget about entertaining the ideas of the 'negative' what if's...😟. I am just saying I thank my Divine everyday and every second that I can steal a hug or a kiss I do. I love them til they are sick of it ( I am a spontaneous huger😀). But mostly, I have learned to invest in me, there by investing in them, leaving a legacy and foundation on which they can stand and know that "Mommy built this and thought of this for us".
I share this as a warning to many of you that share my same mantras, in hopes that you take a minute, to think about the last time you went to the doctor just for a check up or had your body feeling strange and just chalked it up to exhaustion or stress. Take a day off and go to the doctor and yes I said a day off. In hind sight, one day to focus on my health and make my doctor visit a priority would have saved me months of limbo and only costed me one days pay. The main take away though is LISTEN TO YOUR BODY, it has a lot to say.
*ANY MEDICAL INFORMATION EXPLAINED IN THIS PIECE IS NOT IN ANYWAY MEANT TO ASSIST IN ANY DIAGNOSIS. RATHER, ALL INFORMATION WAS EXPRESSED TO ME BY MY SPECIALIST AS IT PERTAINS TO MY DIAGNOSIS. STATEMENTS AND INFORMATION HAS BEEN ACCURATELY SHARED TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE*
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