SHORT SHARE: CHASING REM - THE UNRESTED MOMMA

When they say having a baby changes everything, they meant it.

At times, I get glimpses of what my life used to be like before I had my kids. The freedom to make plans, that weren’t reliant on whether or not I was able to get a sitter. The knowledge that I could party ‘til the sun came up and still go home Sunday morning, and get 8 blissful hours of sleep. Or one of my favorites, when I could use the bathroom or shower without company. Yup, that was my life before having kids.

I am hooked on binge watching shows after everyone goes to bed. This is literally the only time I have to comfortably watch what I want. I am guessing someone out there can relate. Right now, my addiction is Green Leaf (that is such a good binge). So I watched as much as I could and went to bed at around 1 a.m. At 3 a.m, just as I was drifting into REM sleep, I hear that an all too familiar “Mommy? Get up!” I really thought I was dreaming, until I peaked out of one eye. There she was, with those chubby cheeks kissed with her one dimple, smiling at me. At the time I really thought a cuddle would put her straight back to sleep, so I brought her to bed with me and got really comfy. But guess what, it’s now 4:57 in the morning I have fully given up on going back to blissful sleep. I think to myself, was this tiny sleep disrupter worth it?

By 5:15 a.m my sleep disrupter is now a singer, and had already serenaded me with Twinkle Twinkle Little Star twice along with sharing four super hugs. So cute right😊! Yeah but boy do I bet it would have been extra cute, had I been rested😕. As 5:45 approached my little one asked to use the potty and then for some milk. She loves warm milk in the morning. So, I dragged myself out of bed in zombie mode and began our day. Then the most wonderful thing happened, she gave the most heartfelt, glimmery eyed I Love You Mommy’, coupled with a smiling head tilt. This totally perked me up like no coffee could😍😍😍. She had me smiling and feeling so alive and appreciated. So I sat with her, blanket and all, and let her drink her milk. This euphoric feeling quickly turned to and inner dialogue of 'I can't believe this!'. At 6:30 a.m, my sleep disrupter became sleeping beauty😔. So now, I am fully awake and she is getting her rest😲. Oh the joys of being a momma right….lol.

To answer my earlier question, my little sleep disrupter is most definitely worth it. I would trade nights of sleep to hear that little voice call me ‘Mommy' or to hear ‘I Love You’. I would not dare give up my bathroom interruptions or those most perfect hugs. The giggles, the cries, the whining, the impromptu comedy showcases and the pride I feel when either of my kids independently does something I taught them. I Love being a mom, their mom,and where I do remember my rested self before kids, I wouldn’t change a dang thing about my life today.

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