PARENTING: IT TAKES A VILLAGE
So this week’s post got sidelined after my experience this weekend. It would have not been in my nature to not share this experience with all of you. So my apologize for the late post but this is worth it.
This weekend was full of blessings, with my daughter turning 2 and Mother’s Day all wrapped up in one, I couldn’t have asked for anything better. We celebrated by going to the zoo, and it was awesome!! We were lucky enough to see all the animals and witness feeding time. Honestly, my kids spent the entire day smiling. Now to this week’s entry.
When you visit a public, family oriented place like the zoo, you witness first hand the differences and similarities in how we parent. Bringing together, strangers with a common interest, for brief random reassurances. While enjoying the attractions, I saw this family, with a reasonable gap in ages between their two kids, which caught my attention seeing that my kids are 12 years apart. The little one didn’t want to do what the bigger one was suggesting, but any one with an age difference knows, the older sibling always thinks they know best, which results in the little one being very frustrated and fussy. So, the mom stepped in and told the older sibling to stop trying to force the little one to do things, and the older one like my son, seemed as though she didn’t hear but obviously stopped. I smiled to myself, because that situation is all too familiar, plus mom did what I do. She continued to explain to the older one while avoiding eye contact with anyone around all while keeping her head held high. If you happen to be reading, I am right there with you. No sooner than, this had happened, my son met up with us and immediately tried to get my daughter to go to the statues, she protested, adimitly. And I jumped right in and told him to stop trying to make her do things that she doesn't want to do. Little did I know that the mom from earlier was close by and laughed out “That’s exactly what she does…”, and we briefly did a comparative back and forth. These things warm my heart to see even though we have differences, random similarities bring us together.
As the day went on we kept exploring, and came across the cutest little first time walker. She looked so proud, and so did mom and dad as they stood close by. We continued on and began to venture to the exit, with the little first time walker ahead of us and her parents looking on. Now as we got fully through the exit I looked back and no parents were behind me, but the little walker was looking at me so I tried to point her back toward the exit knowing that I just saw her parents on the other side. Then finally someone was coming out, but it wasn’t her parents. Then another family was behind them still not her parents. So here I am with my kids and mom and the little walker standing at the exit, wanting to go back, these families stuck and asking if the little girl is mine and I am trying to explain that her parents are on the other side. Now, for me I would have followed behind her as she exited, but we all don’t parent the same way. So my thinking is (to be fair to the parents) that she had gone through the exit and back as a fun game a couple times earlier, so they knew she wouldn’t walk off. We all stuck around and Mom got through soon after and guided the little walker back. (Now before I move on, please do not judge them, both parents looked fully capable, and remember we all parent differently. The little walker did not seem scared or nervous at all).
Following this, it was time to leave when we came across a mom dealing with a screaming toddler. I need to say, that she was the most calm and focused mom I have seen in a long time. She comforted and spoke but not overly so, and continued to clean him up while keeping her composure. Parents around were looking and I think we all had the same thought. First, “I’m glad it’s not me” and “I know how she feels”, then we all mentally routed for her. My mom and the grandma began talking, as I was dealing with my kids. Grandma then mentioned that it was naptime, in explanation of the toddler’s behaviour. I then had to look over and admit that I just went through the same thing. Mom nodded in acknowledgement and took that deserving breath, that says someone understands. This is just the same feeling I had as a random person expressed, understanding and sympathy for me a little while earlier. Eventually, mom handled the situation like a rock star and her toddler
calmed down.
That day, I left with a renewed faith in people and a connectivity that I thought was long forgotten. From the reassuring comparative back and forth, to the interest that strangers showed until mom was able to get through to her daughter and then to the all around rock star mom, that was a picture perfect look at how others see us even when we think that they are judging us. So the next time you are in a setting similar to this one, sometimes all it takes is a reassuring smile or statement, a watchful eye or a I have been there glance. And always remember try to avoid jumping to conclusions or judgments, we all parent lovingly but we also parent differently, and we are all in this together.
This weekend was full of blessings, with my daughter turning 2 and Mother’s Day all wrapped up in one, I couldn’t have asked for anything better. We celebrated by going to the zoo, and it was awesome!! We were lucky enough to see all the animals and witness feeding time. Honestly, my kids spent the entire day smiling. Now to this week’s entry.
When you visit a public, family oriented place like the zoo, you witness first hand the differences and similarities in how we parent. Bringing together, strangers with a common interest, for brief random reassurances. While enjoying the attractions, I saw this family, with a reasonable gap in ages between their two kids, which caught my attention seeing that my kids are 12 years apart. The little one didn’t want to do what the bigger one was suggesting, but any one with an age difference knows, the older sibling always thinks they know best, which results in the little one being very frustrated and fussy. So, the mom stepped in and told the older sibling to stop trying to force the little one to do things, and the older one like my son, seemed as though she didn’t hear but obviously stopped. I smiled to myself, because that situation is all too familiar, plus mom did what I do. She continued to explain to the older one while avoiding eye contact with anyone around all while keeping her head held high. If you happen to be reading, I am right there with you. No sooner than, this had happened, my son met up with us and immediately tried to get my daughter to go to the statues, she protested, adimitly. And I jumped right in and told him to stop trying to make her do things that she doesn't want to do. Little did I know that the mom from earlier was close by and laughed out “That’s exactly what she does…”, and we briefly did a comparative back and forth. These things warm my heart to see even though we have differences, random similarities bring us together.
As the day went on we kept exploring, and came across the cutest little first time walker. She looked so proud, and so did mom and dad as they stood close by. We continued on and began to venture to the exit, with the little first time walker ahead of us and her parents looking on. Now as we got fully through the exit I looked back and no parents were behind me, but the little walker was looking at me so I tried to point her back toward the exit knowing that I just saw her parents on the other side. Then finally someone was coming out, but it wasn’t her parents. Then another family was behind them still not her parents. So here I am with my kids and mom and the little walker standing at the exit, wanting to go back, these families stuck and asking if the little girl is mine and I am trying to explain that her parents are on the other side. Now, for me I would have followed behind her as she exited, but we all don’t parent the same way. So my thinking is (to be fair to the parents) that she had gone through the exit and back as a fun game a couple times earlier, so they knew she wouldn’t walk off. We all stuck around and Mom got through soon after and guided the little walker back. (Now before I move on, please do not judge them, both parents looked fully capable, and remember we all parent differently. The little walker did not seem scared or nervous at all).
Following this, it was time to leave when we came across a mom dealing with a screaming toddler. I need to say, that she was the most calm and focused mom I have seen in a long time. She comforted and spoke but not overly so, and continued to clean him up while keeping her composure. Parents around were looking and I think we all had the same thought. First, “I’m glad it’s not me” and “I know how she feels”, then we all mentally routed for her. My mom and the grandma began talking, as I was dealing with my kids. Grandma then mentioned that it was naptime, in explanation of the toddler’s behaviour. I then had to look over and admit that I just went through the same thing. Mom nodded in acknowledgement and took that deserving breath, that says someone understands. This is just the same feeling I had as a random person expressed, understanding and sympathy for me a little while earlier. Eventually, mom handled the situation like a rock star and her toddler
calmed down.
That day, I left with a renewed faith in people and a connectivity that I thought was long forgotten. From the reassuring comparative back and forth, to the interest that strangers showed until mom was able to get through to her daughter and then to the all around rock star mom, that was a picture perfect look at how others see us even when we think that they are judging us. So the next time you are in a setting similar to this one, sometimes all it takes is a reassuring smile or statement, a watchful eye or a I have been there glance. And always remember try to avoid jumping to conclusions or judgments, we all parent lovingly but we also parent differently, and we are all in this together.
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